After much anticipation, Game of Thrones season 6 finally kicked off last night. Episode 1, The Red Woman: what has Melisandre been hiding? did a good job picking up where all the story lines in season 5 left off, there is nothing more frustrating than a storyline being left as a cliffhanger to end a season and taking multiple episodes to get back to it in the new season.
The episode began with Jon Snow’s dead body. There were many conspiracy theories that he would come back to life this season but he looked as dead as a door nail to me. People thought the Red Woman would surprise us and bring him back to life (which still could happen I guess), but the only thing she surprised us with this episode were her saggy boobies and cob-webbed vagina. What the hell HBO I don’t want to see that. And that’s how you end the episode? That’s the image you’re going to leave us with right before the Sunday scaries punch us in the gut? C’mon don’t do that to me. Emilia Clarke lobbied hard for nude equality in the series, and I can see where she’s coming from, but I think we can all agree that the male body is just not attractive to look at, it’s a tool, Seinfeld covered it perfectly. Well here’s a newsflash, 90-year lady full frontal isn’t very appetizing either.
They didn’t take long to catch us up on the Sansa and Theon cliff hanger (or should I say cliff jumper, HAHA) either. I was glad to see they were alive but I couldn’t help but picture the The Rock and Samuel Jackson scene from The Other Guys when they jumped off the wall to end season 5. I half expected season 6 to open with their bodies splattered on the ground from the fall. Not many people jump from a 100-foot wall and live to tell the tale, good for them. I’m hoping Theon pulls it together as well, I think him and Sansa teamed up with Brianne and Pod could do some damage. I wouldn’t mind seeing Pod make a go at Sansa either. Poor Sansa has had some shit luck with her arranged marriages, first Joffrey then Ramsey? She deserves a nice guy like Pod, and nice guy like Pod deserves Sansa. I wouldn’t call them a power couple but kind of an underdog couple I could get behind.
Don’t have much to add on the other storylines. I have a feeling Arya is going to become a badass blind chick, kind of like the white girl version of Denzel in Book of Eli. I’m pissed Daenerys and Tyrion got separated after being together for almost one whole episode, they’re two of my favorite characters I’d love to see them tear shit up together. Speaking of tearing shit up, we can all agree that the Lannisters are the antagonists in the show, and I hate them as much as the next person, but I cannot wait to see what Cersei and Jaime have in store for us.
PS. How bad did you feel for Ghost (Jon Snow’s direwolf for all you peasants)?
GDONUT
The episode began with Jon Snow’s dead body. There were many conspiracy theories that he would come back to life this season but he looked as dead as a door nail to me. People thought the Red Woman would surprise us and bring him back to life (which still could happen I guess), but the only thing she surprised us with this episode were her saggy boobies and cob-webbed vagina. What the hell HBO I don’t want to see that. And that’s how you end the episode? That’s the image you’re going to leave us with right before the Sunday scaries punch us in the gut? C’mon don’t do that to me. Emilia Clarke lobbied hard for nude equality in the series, and I can see where she’s coming from, but I think we can all agree that the male body is just not attractive to look at, it’s a tool, Seinfeld covered it perfectly. Well here’s a newsflash, 90-year lady full frontal isn’t very appetizing either.
They didn’t take long to catch us up on the Sansa and Theon cliff hanger (or should I say cliff jumper, HAHA) either. I was glad to see they were alive but I couldn’t help but picture the The Rock and Samuel Jackson scene from The Other Guys when they jumped off the wall to end season 5. I half expected season 6 to open with their bodies splattered on the ground from the fall. Not many people jump from a 100-foot wall and live to tell the tale, good for them. I’m hoping Theon pulls it together as well, I think him and Sansa teamed up with Brianne and Pod could do some damage. I wouldn’t mind seeing Pod make a go at Sansa either. Poor Sansa has had some shit luck with her arranged marriages, first Joffrey then Ramsey? She deserves a nice guy like Pod, and nice guy like Pod deserves Sansa. I wouldn’t call them a power couple but kind of an underdog couple I could get behind.
Don’t have much to add on the other storylines. I have a feeling Arya is going to become a badass blind chick, kind of like the white girl version of Denzel in Book of Eli. I’m pissed Daenerys and Tyrion got separated after being together for almost one whole episode, they’re two of my favorite characters I’d love to see them tear shit up together. Speaking of tearing shit up, we can all agree that the Lannisters are the antagonists in the show, and I hate them as much as the next person, but I cannot wait to see what Cersei and Jaime have in store for us.
PS. How bad did you feel for Ghost (Jon Snow’s direwolf for all you peasants)?
GDONUT