As 4th of July weekend approaches I never thought I'd be talking about something so... Canadian. But with the amount of grilling going on this weekend I thought it was a necessary topic to tackle. While I'll be doing my part Making America Great Again this weekend by grilling and pounding Budweiser's, one vital part of my cookout will be coming from Canada; Montreal Steak Seasoning. I don't care if it Stop and Shop brand of Filet Mignon there's no question I'm loading it with Montreal Steak. But that's not the question here, Montreal Steak is fuckin' delicious, why limit it to just steak? Yeah I know they make Montreal Chicken too but it's not as good, and that's not what I'm talking about anyways. There's appetizers at every good cookout, correct? Chips and salsa, variety of dips, maybe a Dominos pizza for all the lazy fucks who didn't want to go shopping. I'm talking about throwing Montreal Steak on that stuff. Try to tell me it wouldn't be delicious. Montreal Steak make bad food good and good food better. So that's what I'm going to do from now on, #montrealsteakovereverything. I'm going to put it in all my dips- hummus, blue cheese, salsa- Montreal Steak. Bland pasta sauce; Montreal Steak, leftover pizza; Montreal Steak, skunked beer; Montreal Steak, maybe I'll even throw some in my hair when I'm having a tough day, what do you think keeps it up, slick?
So there you have it, when you inevitably forget condiments while grilling this weekend and have to run back to the store make sure to pick up some Montreal Steak as well. That way when the cookout fitness freak brings over a vegetable platter and you're forced to take a bite you can just throw Montreal Steak on it, problem solved. GDONUT ▪️Brewer: @NBPTBrewing (Newburyport, MA) ▪️Beer: Das Kölsch ▪️Style: Kölsch Lager ▪️Alc. Content: 5.0% ABV ▪️Food Pairing: Fried Calamari ▪️The Verdict: Es ist Handwerk Bier Mittwoch! Lasst uns bekkommen betrunken! And for all you mono-linguistic peasants out there, that means It's Craft Beer Wednesday! Let's get drunk! Cause let's face it, it's Wednesday, its almost the long weekend and if you're reading this then we know you’ve already mailed it in for the week. After all it is your national obligation to assemble a drinking team and get blacked out off patriotism this weekend so I figured I'd do my part and AT LEAST give you a good beer recommendation that great Gam Gam and the Wolfhauses' could be proud of. Then I thought "that's not very patriotic", but I already made this cool picture so whatever… Deal with it stable boy! So without further ado, this week's craft beir is "Das Kölsh" a German style pale lager from Newburyport Brewing. As Johann Von Wolfhaus put it "It is the greatest beer in all ze world." Well, it's no Schnitzengiggle, but it’s a solid tribute to a classic style that was made popular in Germany. NBPT just introduced this to their lineup in April and is making it one of their rotating year round offering and unlike a ZJ, you can probably afford this. I picked up a sixer at The Cottage in Plum Island this Sunday for $9.99. As much as we love hop flavor and aroma, some folks prefer a smoother and lighter tasting beer during the summer months. It checks in at a respectable 5.0% ABV so it is a nice light, summer alternative to the hoppy IPA's and Pale Ale's out there. It has a clean and crisp flavor and not too bitter and all around a solid presentation of a German classic. Or in the words of Barry Badrinath "I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!" ▪️M&F Rating: 7.7 -akidnamedCAL Looks like Joey Chestnut's training is going well... 73.5 dogs this past Saturday shattering his own record. He's had a year to shit out the disappointment that was last year's contest. The storyline has already written itself for next week. A true American hero, written off by his own country, coming to take back what's his: The Mustard Belt. The early odds are already out in Vegas and Chestnut is an underdog at +150 and an O/U of 63.5 dogs. If you like money put your house on Chestnut and the over and thank me later. The only thing that could trip him up is the Fourth falls on a Monday(pretty Un-American if you ask me) so I hope he's not lacking any motivation when the bell rings. #TeamChestnut 🌭
-akidnamedCAL Ahhh, so this is what happens when you let two hippy stoners create their own beer. Shocking... I've been known to experiment in the kitchen when I'm baked too. And no, I'm not talking chips-inside-my-turkey-sandwich "experimenting." That's elementary school. That's like when your girlfriend thinks she's a freak cause she actually let you try reverse cowgirl on your birthday. I'm talking some weird shit. I'm talking peanut butter and Siracha on a bagel at three o'clock in the morning experimenting. When I miraculously find the strength to peel myself off the couch I swear after a few bong rips I venture into the kitchen and basically reincarnate myself as a modern day Emril Lagasse. I'm talking ketchup on leftover spaghetti (BAM!). I'm talking pepperoni sandwiches with BBQ sauce type shit. I mean if you're not borderline puking in the morning from whatever concoction you dreamt up while did you really do it right?
Anyways, Ben & Jerry's new chocolate chip cookie dough creation is inspiring. They’ve teamed up with New Belgium Brewery to develop Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ale a special release beer to hit the shelves in the fall of 2016 that will actually raise money for a climate change awareness group called Protect Our Winters (POW). Not sure how many they plan on making but It's definitely gonna be on the bucket list for the fall. I guess this is the perfect time to ask a question I've always had as a kid: does cookie dough really give you worms or was that just another lie my parents told me? -akidnamedCAL
The 1995 comedy Heavyweights perfectly sums up summertime at a lake, or any body of water for that matter. You got people like Camp MVP, Lars, and dear old Uncle Tony going on hikes, push pressing devil logs, and cancelling lunch so they can check out each others six-packs. Then you have the guys at Camp Hope who are more concerned about the six-pack in their hand and the food in their bunk because they know a true beach bod has some meat on it. When you're at the lake you're not the fat kid, every ones the fat kid. If we're all fat together, we can still be skinny!
So while some lake-goers were climbing a 1,000 ft rock face on heir bare hands and feet, moviesandfood sat down to try some local nachos. I've complained in the past nachos have fallen victim to perceived value trumping actual value, but that certainly wasn't the case at The Tavern in Ferrisburg, VT, no napkins, no silverware, I'm pretty sure they served the nachos on the oven dish they cooked them on; this dish resembled The Blob at Camp Hope and I loved every bite. Best chips I've had in years, nice and toasty. What they were able to pull off here is a little trick I lie to call the double-oven-dip; illegal in most counties and unheard of in most civilized countries. You layer the cheese and meet of choice over the chips and stick in the oven. The. You take it out and put the rest of the toppings on, and this is where most cowards serve the dish with all the toppings sitting on top, but not true nacho savants. To pull off the double-oven-dip you then carefully stir up the nachos to mix ALL the toppings into the chips without breaking any chips- not a task easily accomplished-- and then put the nachos back in the oven! Genius! This way the chips get that little extra crisp to them and the toppings all get to know each other. Haven't seen it successfully done in years but glad to see the double-oven-dip is still alive! Bottom line is it doesn't have to be pretty to be effective. Never judge nachos by their top layer and never judge a beach bod on how many abs you can see, judge it by how many inches you guy hangs over your waste line. People say war is hell, well they've never been to fat camp. So why would you do that to yourself? ▪️M&F 9.0
When I first saw I was appalled, I was going to play the whole "this is what America's come to" bit, you can't sneak a little soda in your cup after saying you're just getting water? I thought that was a given. Like if you ask for water but want a fountain cup you're getting soda, everyone knows that, completely innocent. But then I got a weird feeling, all of a sudden I felt a little more badass, like the rush of committing 1,000 crimes I missed out on 10 years ago all hit me at once, this is robbery? Well then call me John fuckin' Dillinger! If I were a Grand Theft Auto character my "respect" would have gone up like a million points. I'm a badass guys! There's probably still wanted signs out for me. I wonder what the price on my head is? Dead or alive? They sure as hell ain't taking me alive.
I have to reevaluate my entire life now. Need to buy new clothes, walk different, talk different, get new friends with criminal records, maybe get a tattoo? "Live my life 12oz at a time", I don't know, we'll work on it. I feel like Prison Mike, hopefully the Dementors don't get me. What's the statute of limitations on this? Haven't done it in a while but might get back in the game, want the rush, NEED the rush. So if you don't hear from me for a while I'll be on the run, wherever the road takes me. They're probably on to me already, on to the next town. I'm a ghost baby. I can just picture he Johnny Utah equivalent of stolen fountain soda trying to chase me down, "I've been to every city in Massachusetts. Came across an unclaimed piece of meat in Lawrence, turned out to be Rosie. Guess he picked a knife fight with somebody better. Found a passport of yours in Lowell. Missed you by about a week in Boston. But I know you wouldn't miss the 50-year Storm gdonut!"
GDONUT
And the pussification of America continues. So it looks like candy giant Mars, the makers of M&M's, is gearing up to end their partnerships with fast food chains such as McDonalds, Burger King and Dairy Queen because America's sugar intake is too damn high. This is the same company that stopped making king sized chocolate bars in 2013 so it's not a huge surprise that they were craving more good PR with this move. Talk about self importance. If I wanna be triple my "recommended" caloric intake that's my prerogative and I'm gonna find a way to do it. Taking away the M&M's from my McFlurry is just going to manifest itself into 4 caramel sundaes but at least Mars will have a clean conscience. That's just the world we live in these days. The sad truth is Inevitably this will cause the extinction of our beloved McFlurry. But are we really going to miss it? I'm an Oreo McFlurry guy through and through anyway and half the time you go there the McFlurry machine is "out of order" (allegedly). Call it a hot take but the McFlurry won't be as missed as you think.
-akidnamedCAL Vincent Lamar Wilfork. NFL Defensive Tackle. Pro Bowler. Future Hall of Famer. Male Model. American Hero. ESPN is releasing their annual "Body Issue" which has become the red-headed step child to Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition. Every year we have 10-12 jacked, ripped up athletes peacocking around showing off their cool "muscles" that they "worked so hard for." Sorry to break it to you guys but you're not the only one who has worked hard for their physique. I grinded all winter for this trophy I call my body. You think this Dadbod built itself?
A few years back we had Prince Fielder who set the bar pretty high for us fat guys but this year we get not only America wants but what America NEEDS. Vince Wilfork is a fat guy's fat guy. At 4 plus bills he's athletic, nimble and if you’ve ever seen any of NFL episodes of Hard Knocks you know this guy can eat but did you know he was a motivational speaker? “I know I don’t have the six-packs and the eight-packs and all that … but I’m perfectly fine with what I am. If people can look at me, look at a guy that’s 325-plus doing an issue like this, I’m pretty sure that they might have a little confidence after seeing that it’s OK to be who you are.” A fat guy's fat guy indeed. Truly inspiring words. Just goes to show you that fat shamers like @weatherford5 can throw stones but they can't tear us down. Vince, open invite to join M&F once you decide to hang it up. -akidnamedCAL
Last Wednesday Moviesandfood made it out to Taste of Somerville in Davis Square. I had heard good things about it and it didn't disappoint. I pad $75 for a VIP ticket because I'm not a peasant, I'm not an idiot either, a normal ticket was $60 why wouldn't you throw an extra $15? While some were turned off by the price considering it was a 2 hour event, as usual, moviesandfood said challenge accepted! $75 worth of food and drink in two hours? You kidding? While the peasants were waiting in line to get in, being Very Important, I was double fisting Red Bones ribs and a local IPA in no time. The assortment of foods there was unbelievable, southern comfort, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, seafood, American, there were times I didn't even know what I was eating. I even threw up in my mouth after eating a nasty piece of fish, but hey, it's all part of the experience. And if the diverse array of foods wasn't enough, the music was even more unpredictable. They started with some summer hits of the '90's, and by the end of it people were salsa dancing next to the Holiday Inn Express food stand that was serving Italian food, interesting combo but somehow it worked.
Great day for it too, 80 degrees and sunny. Not gonna lie I broke a sweat a couple times, whether it be because I was body checking people in line, getting the meat sweats, or shoveling spicy tacos down my throat from Ana's Taquiria, every time I felt pit stains coming on I'd stroll under the VIP tent to cool down with some delicious pretty girl drinks. All in all it was a great event. I definitely recommend the VIP pass. My only complaints are it wasn't bigger and longer (that's what she said!), how is this event not an all day Saturday thing? And they should definitely shut down Davis square for it, maybe get some live music? Some eating competitions? Think big Taste of Somerville!
GDONUT
▪️Brewer: @21stAmendment (San Francisco, CA) ▪️Beer: Hell or High Watermelon ▪️Style: Watermelon Wheat Ale ▪️Alc. Content: 4.9% ABV (17 IBU) ▪️Food Pairing: Grilled Chicken Kabob ▪️The Verdict: As men, it is in our DNA to do manly things like piss on toilet seats, piss off our girlfriends & piss away our money gambling on sports all weekend (...probably all three). We wear the same pair of jeans for months on end without washing them. We laugh at vegetarians who don't appreciate the finer things in life like a tender, juicy steak. We trade war stories & embellish tall tales from our high school glory days. It's also an unwritten 'Man Law' to bust another man's balls if you catch him drinking a 'fruity' drink. But laws are meant to be broken & every rule has an exception. 21st Amendment's 'Hell or High Watermelon' is that exception. Admittedly, I'm not a huge fan of fruit beers because they tend to taste artificial and overpowering, but the watermelon flavor of Hell or High Watermelon is subtle enough that it does not dominate the beer. Made with 100% real watermelon, it is a light-bodied wheat ale with a crisp, refreshing after taste. Perfect for the dog days of summer, I could definitely see myself crushing a six pack by the pool while I even out my tan & catch up on the hottest gossip in the new issue of Vanity Fair. I guess you could consider it the Caitlyn Jenner of beer. Whatever. It takes a real man to admit that. 🍉 ▪️M&F Rating: 7.9 -akidnamedCAL Water? Get this guy a pillow! We literally wrote this blog last week after a guard fell asleep at the Queen's 90th birthday ceremony. I said it once and I'll say it again, some people can find their couch anywhere, anytime. This guy found the rough at Oakmont on Sunday. Not a tough lie if ya ask me. He's just taking the phrase "laying up" to a new level.
If you're gonna chirp this guy, grow up. This is par for the course. It's Sunday. It's Fathers Day. It's the US Open. It's his one day a year to unwind and not be judged. Notice how the fellow fathers don't even bat an eye? They've all been there, keep it moving people. He's probably been married for 26 years and drives a mini van and is just looking for some peace and quiet and I respect the fuck outta that. Not gonna lie though, it looks like he's done this before. Just look at that form. Not a huge stomach sleeper, my preferred position is on my back which causes me to snore like an ox. Maybe that was this guys play here? I mean it was the US Open and golf is a gentleman's game after all. -akidnamedCAL I respect the hell out of this guy, I mean, the Queens 90th birthday celebration certainly sounds like a snoozer to me. Some people can find their couch anywhere, anytime. Shitty move by all his buddies here for not having his back. We've all been to a party where you're not completely comfortable so you ask your buddies to watch your back as you do something stupid, well that's exactly what happened here. This guy definitely tapped a few of his buddies on the shoulder and was like, "yo, I'm just gonna lay down for a bit, don't go anywhere". Next thing he knows he's laying face down on the cement, friends no where in site, and the Queen of fuckin' England giving him the stick eye. Lousy friends if you ask me.
What this guy does next is another legendary move though. When he awoke, he could have hopped up and rejoined his group looking like an idiot, but no, he played it right. He stayed down. If you can't find your couch, make them bring the couch to you. Next thing you know this guys got people picking him up and putting him on a stretcher, effortless, pretty much a hammock if you ask me. 10 minutes later he's sitting in a comfortable hospital bed with an ice cream cone sending selfies to his miserable friends who didn't have his back and are still miserable at the lame party. May have been the Queens party but this guy got the Kings treatment. Well played. GDONUT Another weekend in the books means another Sleeper Movie Monday. This week, I think it’s safe to say we’re due for a comedy. Lots of fucked up stuff going on in the world. M&F is here to remind you laughter can sometimes be the best medicine during dark times such as these. Fire up the peace pipe, and geek out to your favorite comedy.
Coming out in 1999 is a Martin Lawrence classic. One of the kings of comedy, Martin Lawrence, is joined by Luke Wilson and fellow comedic juggernaut Dave Chappelle in the crime/comedy movie Blue Streak. Lawrence plays a jewel thief who hides his biggest steal ever, a giant diamond, in an abandoned warehouse upon his arrest. When he’s released a few yeasr later he has one mission: find that fucking diamond. Things take an unexpected turn when he finds out that warehouse he hid the diamond in, is now a police headquarters. Thus begins the characters journey of his character posing as an LAPD detective until he can locate his booty. This is an awesome late 90’s comedy. Martin Lawrence’s unique style of delivering jokes and his character’s over confidence is combined so well with Luke Wilson’s ability to play a dimwitted moron that the two really steal the show. Their back and forth banter provides for some gold moments on screen. It’s an easy watch and is gaurenteed to give you some laughs. Give it a shot. M&F Rating: 7.0 Hutch ▪️Brewer: @SierraNevada (Chico, CA) ▪️Beer: Otra Vez ▪️Style: Gose ▪️Alc. Content: 4.5% ABV (5 IBU) ▪️The Verdict: Otra Vez translates to "again" or "another time" in English so for the 40th installment #CraftBeerWednesday (... But who's counting?) I'm gonna do you like Britney in '02 and hit you baby one more time with Sierra Nevada's Otra Vez. It's Sierra Nevada's take on a Gose style beer which has really picked up a lot of steam in the past year and seems to be the fad of the summer. A few week's back I tried out Epic Brewing's Tart and Sour IPA which was average at best, but since then I've been trying to branch out and try more of that style. A Gose style originated in East Germany and has been nearly extinct until its recent revival. It’s been revamped by American brewers, and it’s a very unique style because it’s made with a souring process using a natural bacteria like what you’d find in yogurt. This provides a natural acidity and a really nice tartness that helps balance it out. Otra Vez is a unique twist on the traditional Gose style, utilizing prickly pear cactus and grapefruit to give it its authentic California feel. Served cold, it's super refreshing as it is both fruity fruity and tangy with a crisp, clean finish. Overall, a really solid summer option especially if you're getting tired of blacking out off of three IPA's every weekend. At 4.5% I it's light and not overly filling and It'll definitely have you calling for another round. ▪️M&F Rating: 8.3 -akidnamedCAL In other news, Jameis Winston fired his agent today... Somewhere in America he's jealously salivating like Pavlov's dog after Legal Seafood offered KD free crab legs for life in their attempt to help the Boston Celtics reel in the NBA’s biggest free agent fish of the summer, calling it their "civic responsibility". Growing up in the DMV area, Durant is actually a huge crab guy so there's a 100% chance this marketing ploy is successful. After all, who doesn't make life altering decisions based off your favorite food. It's a classic case of following your stomach.
Sure, he's not your prototypical "couch guy" but I'd love to see him in the Sea Port district crushing some snow crab. Seriously though, how pissed Jameis for not negotiating this as part of his rookie deal? We all know millionaire athletes are terrible with money and Legal Seafood is extremely overpriced so this is just the perfect storm. Wouldn’t be surprised if Jameis is filing for bankruptcy by the Bucs bye week just trying to stay afloat and keep his nickname as the "King Crab." How does the "Slim Reaper" get this type of treatment and Jameis gets shafted? Sounds fishy. Not saying Legal Seafood is racist but also not not saying Legal Seafood is racist. -akidnamedCAL
Shoutout to @mccreascandies ! Not gonna lie I was a little sketched out when I first saw this, only Sandusky-esque ice cream truck operators hand out free candies. So at first I thought it would be a psycho move handing out my address for free caramels, but then I concluded it would be a psycho move NOT to hand out my address for free caramels. If you don't hear from us for a couple days we are either enjoying our free caramels and putting in some solid couch time, or we're locked in a basement somewhere. No middle ground. I'll let you know how it goes...hopefully.
GDONUT
Get. Your. Shit. Together. Game. Of. Thrones!!! What the fuck is going on? I’m hearing rumors there’s only two seasons left, I’m also hearing there’s going to be a total of 13 episodes combined in those two seasons, so if I’m doing my math right last night was the 16th to last episode and that is what they give us? Other than the Arya scenes the whole episode sucked. Well, The Mountain and Kahleesi’s return was cool too but that’s it. This season got off to a good start but legit nothing has happened since. The combining of church and state in Kings Landing puts me to sleep. Jaime has just been chilling outside a castle for three episodes building tension for a battle? Nope, they just let him right in. Jon Snow and Sansa are unsuccessfully recruiting people for their army. Therion is sitting around telling jokes for like ten minutes of the episode- I didn’t laugh at one. And then the masters finally attack Meereen while Kahleesi flies in on a Dragon… but lets cut away from that. They even cut away from Arya’s fight with The Bitch with No Name, did the writers forget that gruesome deaths is what made this show what it is? I wanna see Arya slice that bitch up! I get they are building up to the Battle of the North next episode, but I’d appreciate more than one good episode per season. Game of Thrones was locked in as my favorite show of all time for a while, but this season has it slipping. The Scenes from Next Week were definitely the best part of this episode. So who’s going to win the battle of the north? My money’s on the Stark’s, which begs the question, who kills Ramsy? Who wins the battle of the north? Boltons -150 Starks -110 Who Kills Ramsy (assuming he dies)? Jon Snow -110 Sansa +150 Arya +300 Theon +1000 Brianne +500 Ricon +2000 Podd +700 Little Finger +2000 Field +1000 He Lives -110 GDONUT
In the world we live in today information travels as fast as my bowels after eating this plays of nachos from Uno's in Kenmore Square. Today's society is all about perceived value, or perceived information, as long as you can repeat some headlines or memorize a couple 140 character tweets you can hold your own in any trendy conversation until the story, like these nachos, is improperly digested and flushed away after about 45 seconds. No one is willing to to research, and 99% of the time that would hold true to is here at moviesandfood but not when it comes to nachos, when a plate of nachos is put in front of me I always dig deeper.
And by digging deeper I have found that nachos are yet another victim to perceived value trumping actual value. Every restaurant has their nachos covered in toppings, yet when I dig passed the outer layer I am left with a bunch of soggy chips. Restaurants are more concerned about the "ooo's" and "ahh's" they get while delivering the dish than how it actually tastes. Nachos are like ogre's, they have layers! You gotta layer the topping throughout the chips, you can't just throw it all on top and let the bottom layer suffer from the nacho equivalent to swamp ass. How do people not know this?! I'll tell you why, because the same technologies that have developed a whole generation of A.D.D. has somehow brainwashed us into counting steps, and calories, and being "fit", so most "foodies" don't even make it passed the first layer of nachos. Well if being "fit" is cool, consider me The fuckin' Sherminator! A.D.D.? Fit? These words don't exist at M&F I can find my couch and eat chips and salsa for days. Anyways, as you may have guessed, the nachos at Uno's in Kenmore Square Boston had a delicious outer layer but just a bunch of soggy, crumpled up chips underneath. ▪️M&F 4.5
GDONUT
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