(Dazed Digital) - Looking to score tonight? Well, according to reports from Berlin – the home of Berghain, techno and three-day club nights – it may be more easy (and legal) than you think. Residents of the German capital have apparently chosen chocolate as their brand new drug of choice; snorting it at electronic nights across the city
I feel like each month there is a new drug craze. I mean, back when I was in college kids were resorting to eyeball shots and chugging Natty Lights through their ass to catch a buzz and I thought that was crazy. Now people are running around naked like Barry Badgernath from Beerfest, speaking in tongues and eating each other. It's complete anarchy out here in the streets. I guess now a prerequisite to fitting in is smearing Burt's Bees on your eyelids and you're definitely a squid if your resume doesn't include smoking bath salts and eating at least one of your friends faces off. (sorry for partying?) What happened to smoking a joint or two and hitting up 7/11 for some taquitos?
Well thanks to Europe now you can hit up 7/11 and kill two birds with one stone. The new fad that is sweeping through Europe is snorting lines of chocolate. Apparently doing a bump of cocoa gives you a rush of endorphins similar to cocaine or ecstasy. I'M IN. That's a drug I can get behind. I mean, talk about designer drug eh? I'm gonna be free basing Nesquick in no time. My cube is gonna look like Tony Montana's mansion remixed with the Willy Wonka factory. Sorry boss I gotta leave early today, "I can't feel my face… I mean, I can touch it but I can't feel it." I just hope I don’t end up like Chocolate Boy from Hey Arnold, sucking dick for looking for my next Kit Kat fix. Cautionary tale indeed. This all begs the question: is chocolate a gateway drug?
-akidnamedcal
I feel like each month there is a new drug craze. I mean, back when I was in college kids were resorting to eyeball shots and chugging Natty Lights through their ass to catch a buzz and I thought that was crazy. Now people are running around naked like Barry Badgernath from Beerfest, speaking in tongues and eating each other. It's complete anarchy out here in the streets. I guess now a prerequisite to fitting in is smearing Burt's Bees on your eyelids and you're definitely a squid if your resume doesn't include smoking bath salts and eating at least one of your friends faces off. (sorry for partying?) What happened to smoking a joint or two and hitting up 7/11 for some taquitos?
Well thanks to Europe now you can hit up 7/11 and kill two birds with one stone. The new fad that is sweeping through Europe is snorting lines of chocolate. Apparently doing a bump of cocoa gives you a rush of endorphins similar to cocaine or ecstasy. I'M IN. That's a drug I can get behind. I mean, talk about designer drug eh? I'm gonna be free basing Nesquick in no time. My cube is gonna look like Tony Montana's mansion remixed with the Willy Wonka factory. Sorry boss I gotta leave early today, "I can't feel my face… I mean, I can touch it but I can't feel it." I just hope I don’t end up like Chocolate Boy from Hey Arnold, sucking dick for looking for my next Kit Kat fix. Cautionary tale indeed. This all begs the question: is chocolate a gateway drug?
-akidnamedcal