Look at Shooter, pro golfer, meteorologist, he does it all! I am a little disappointed he didn’t give the signature Shooter finger pistol at the end of that scene though.
Anyways, we have our own little perfect storm heading our way on March 17th. Not one a meteorologist would pick up on, not even an astute one like Shooter here, but it will be of disastrous proportions all the same. I’m talking about a perfect storm of drinking, getting liquored up, shitfaced with no regard for self-pride or humanity. On March 17th three things will happen allowing for everyone to get absolutely hammered and make bad decisions without any repercussions on the 18th (well, I can’t promise that).
The first is more of a little qualm, or lack there of. We all know weather in the Northeast can be unpredictable. We never know if it is going to be snowing on March 17th or 70 degrees and sunny. This year we lucked out. We didn’t have much of a winter so the weather’s looking nice enough to make Shooter quit the meteorologist act and dust off his clubs. And we all know what nice weather does- it brings people out of hibernation to get some day drinking in under the sun.
The second part of the Perfect Storm equation is by far the biggest- March 17th is St. Paddy’s Day!!! ST. Paddy’s day is the only day of the year where it is not only acceptable, but encouraged to start drinking at breakfast. Morals go out the window on St. Paddy’s day. Open container law- gone. Peeing (or pooping hehe) in front of large crowds of people- acceptable. Having sex on a sidewalk next to a dumpster in downtown Boston? Why not! Anything goes! Much like people into this whole fitness fad consider Thanksgiving a “cheat day”, if you’re 100 days sober on March 16th and show up to your AA meeting still drunk from the night before on March 18th you’re still 102 days sober in my book. St. Paddys day is the best day of the year. It’s a holiday, but strip away all the formalities that take place on other holidays and just leave the drinking…and then add more drinking, that’s St. Paddy’s day. And if you’re not into the whole getting shit faced thing that’s fine, but just knowing that it is an option accepted by society on this day once a year is what makes it so great.
The third storm that will hit on March 17th that will complete the trifecta resulting in the Perfect Storm of drinking is March Madness tipping off. Basketball starts at noon, so drinking starts at noon. But being St. Paddy’s day it just means heavier drinking starts at noon. Hopes and dreams of college hoop players will be crushed or realized all over the nation that day, just like the hopes and dreams of all the degenerates gambling on them.
So that’s it. That is why March 17th will be the Perfect Storm of drinking. Oh, so you have this job thing getting in the way of drinking? Rookie move if you didn’t take the 17th and 18th off months ago.
GDONUT
Anyways, we have our own little perfect storm heading our way on March 17th. Not one a meteorologist would pick up on, not even an astute one like Shooter here, but it will be of disastrous proportions all the same. I’m talking about a perfect storm of drinking, getting liquored up, shitfaced with no regard for self-pride or humanity. On March 17th three things will happen allowing for everyone to get absolutely hammered and make bad decisions without any repercussions on the 18th (well, I can’t promise that).
The first is more of a little qualm, or lack there of. We all know weather in the Northeast can be unpredictable. We never know if it is going to be snowing on March 17th or 70 degrees and sunny. This year we lucked out. We didn’t have much of a winter so the weather’s looking nice enough to make Shooter quit the meteorologist act and dust off his clubs. And we all know what nice weather does- it brings people out of hibernation to get some day drinking in under the sun.
The second part of the Perfect Storm equation is by far the biggest- March 17th is St. Paddy’s Day!!! ST. Paddy’s day is the only day of the year where it is not only acceptable, but encouraged to start drinking at breakfast. Morals go out the window on St. Paddy’s day. Open container law- gone. Peeing (or pooping hehe) in front of large crowds of people- acceptable. Having sex on a sidewalk next to a dumpster in downtown Boston? Why not! Anything goes! Much like people into this whole fitness fad consider Thanksgiving a “cheat day”, if you’re 100 days sober on March 16th and show up to your AA meeting still drunk from the night before on March 18th you’re still 102 days sober in my book. St. Paddys day is the best day of the year. It’s a holiday, but strip away all the formalities that take place on other holidays and just leave the drinking…and then add more drinking, that’s St. Paddy’s day. And if you’re not into the whole getting shit faced thing that’s fine, but just knowing that it is an option accepted by society on this day once a year is what makes it so great.
The third storm that will hit on March 17th that will complete the trifecta resulting in the Perfect Storm of drinking is March Madness tipping off. Basketball starts at noon, so drinking starts at noon. But being St. Paddy’s day it just means heavier drinking starts at noon. Hopes and dreams of college hoop players will be crushed or realized all over the nation that day, just like the hopes and dreams of all the degenerates gambling on them.
So that’s it. That is why March 17th will be the Perfect Storm of drinking. Oh, so you have this job thing getting in the way of drinking? Rookie move if you didn’t take the 17th and 18th off months ago.
GDONUT