America's new favorite pastime: sitting around watching other people be athletic while being incredibly fat. Looks like we're ahead of the curve because that's actually that motto here at #MOVIESandFOOD. Baseball is one of my favorite sports. I mean is it a coincidence that baseball is one of the few sports that you could look like a fat, out of shape blogger and still perform at an elite level? Hamilton Porter, Bartolo Colon, Rod Beck, CC Sabathia, Rich Garces, Prince Fielder, David Wells, Pablo Sandival, BABE FUCKING RUTH! I think I made my point.
Well nothing says baseball is back like the absurd food items that hit stadium menus every April. It's like clock work, every Winter America's baseball cathedrals turn into culinary laboratories and come Spring, they stitch together some of the most bizarre food creations known to man. Believe me, I'm a hotdog and peanuts guy through and through but I'd be lying if I said I didn't look forward to what gluttonous grub will be unveiled each season. With Opening Day officially starting tonight for a few clubs, we rolled out our starting 9:
Well nothing says baseball is back like the absurd food items that hit stadium menus every April. It's like clock work, every Winter America's baseball cathedrals turn into culinary laboratories and come Spring, they stitch together some of the most bizarre food creations known to man. Believe me, I'm a hotdog and peanuts guy through and through but I'd be lying if I said I didn't look forward to what gluttonous grub will be unveiled each season. With Opening Day officially starting tonight for a few clubs, we rolled out our starting 9:
1. The Burgerizza
▪️Atlanta Braves (Turner Field)
▪️$26
▪️Batting leadoff is the Burgerizza, because life is full of tough decisions. Who would want to have to choose between a pizza and a burger? The pioneers at Turner Feild have made that choice for you. Consisting of a 20 ounce beef patty, plenty of cheddar cheese and bacon, and two eight inch pepperoni pizzas as the bun this thing is a true monstrosity. My only complaint is shouldn't the top pie be upside down? Now we're just splitting hairs.
▪️$26
▪️Batting leadoff is the Burgerizza, because life is full of tough decisions. Who would want to have to choose between a pizza and a burger? The pioneers at Turner Feild have made that choice for you. Consisting of a 20 ounce beef patty, plenty of cheddar cheese and bacon, and two eight inch pepperoni pizzas as the bun this thing is a true monstrosity. My only complaint is shouldn't the top pie be upside down? Now we're just splitting hairs.
2. The Wicked Pig
▪️Texas Rangers (Globe Life Park)
▪️$27
▪️In the two hole we have "The Wicked Pig." It's possible that Prince Fielder may be the mastermind behind this all star is a double decker. The Wicked Pig is loaded with basically every pork product known to man including pulled pork, bacon, sausage, prosciutto, ham, and pork rinds. Everything is bigger in Texas and ballpark food is no exception, but this thing may cause the meat sweats so buyer beware.
▪️$27
▪️In the two hole we have "The Wicked Pig." It's possible that Prince Fielder may be the mastermind behind this all star is a double decker. The Wicked Pig is loaded with basically every pork product known to man including pulled pork, bacon, sausage, prosciutto, ham, and pork rinds. Everything is bigger in Texas and ballpark food is no exception, but this thing may cause the meat sweats so buyer beware.
3. Tape Measure Cheesesteak
▪️New York Yankees (Yankee Stadium)
▪️$27
▪️ They call it the "Tape Measure Cheesesteak." This two foot cheesesteak comes topped with a choice of white American cheese or Cheez Whiz and is served on a classic sub roll with peppers and/or onions available upon request. It's built to share (LOL) and is sold at Carl's Steaks in Section 107. Yankees still suck.
▪️$27
▪️ They call it the "Tape Measure Cheesesteak." This two foot cheesesteak comes topped with a choice of white American cheese or Cheez Whiz and is served on a classic sub roll with peppers and/or onions available upon request. It's built to share (LOL) and is sold at Carl's Steaks in Section 107. Yankees still suck.
4. The Bacon Flight
▪️Chicago White Sox (US Cellular Field)
▪️$20
▪️It's 2016 and yes you can order a flight of bacon at a baseball game. A FLIGHT OF BACON. *drops mic*
▪️$20
▪️It's 2016 and yes you can order a flight of bacon at a baseball game. A FLIGHT OF BACON. *drops mic*
5. Chicken and Donut Skewer
▪️Texas Rangers (Globe Life Park)
▪️$12
▪️ The Rangers are back at it again with another genius creation. Screw chicken and waffles, this time it's the Chicken and Donut Skewer. For $12 you get a 12-inch skewer of fresh donut holes & fried chicken drizzled with sweet & spicy buffalo honey sauce.
▪️$12
▪️ The Rangers are back at it again with another genius creation. Screw chicken and waffles, this time it's the Chicken and Donut Skewer. For $12 you get a 12-inch skewer of fresh donut holes & fried chicken drizzled with sweet & spicy buffalo honey sauce.
6. Cluck and Moo Bloody Mary
▪️Minnesota Twins (Target Felid)
▪️$19
▪️Introducing the official drink of all pink hats nationwide: The "Cluck and Moo" Bloody Mary. Some people go to games to people watch, stuff their face, and get wasted. Well you can do all three at Target Field which has added this Bloody Mary to their bar menu. It features a bacon cheeseburger slider and a dry rubbed buffalo wing. I've definite seen crazier, but not at a ballpark.
▪️$19
▪️Introducing the official drink of all pink hats nationwide: The "Cluck and Moo" Bloody Mary. Some people go to games to people watch, stuff their face, and get wasted. Well you can do all three at Target Field which has added this Bloody Mary to their bar menu. It features a bacon cheeseburger slider and a dry rubbed buffalo wing. I've definite seen crazier, but not at a ballpark.
7. Cracker Jack Mac and Cheese Dog
▪️Pittsburg Pirates (PNC Park)
▪️$19
▪️ Now THIS is what I'm talking about. The Cracker Jack & Mac Dog is a hot dog filled with Cracker Jacks and mac & cheese topped with jalapenos and caramel sauce, to boot. You could literally throw jalapeños on anything and I'll eat it. But a hot dog? With Mac and Cheese? Sign me up.
▪️$19
▪️ Now THIS is what I'm talking about. The Cracker Jack & Mac Dog is a hot dog filled with Cracker Jacks and mac & cheese topped with jalapenos and caramel sauce, to boot. You could literally throw jalapeños on anything and I'll eat it. But a hot dog? With Mac and Cheese? Sign me up.
8. The D-Bat Dog
▪️Arizona Diamondbacks (Chase Field)
▪️$25
▪️The corn dog is an All-American staple in my mind and I'm surprised more ballparks don't offer it, so a tip of the cap to the D-Backs for this one. This was actually rolled out last year by the Arizona Diamondbacks but it's a timeless classic that still hasn't been topped. The “D-Bat Dog”, an 18-inch corndog stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapenos, and bacon.
▪️$25
▪️The corn dog is an All-American staple in my mind and I'm surprised more ballparks don't offer it, so a tip of the cap to the D-Backs for this one. This was actually rolled out last year by the Arizona Diamondbacks but it's a timeless classic that still hasn't been topped. The “D-Bat Dog”, an 18-inch corndog stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapenos, and bacon.
9. Tatter Tot Chop
▪️Atlanta Braves (Turner Field)
▪️$16
▪️ The mad scientists at Turner Field went above and beyond this off season. Last but not least we have the “Tater Tot Chop,” which features tater tots which have been repurposed and placed in a waffle iron, smothered them with cheese, bacon, and jalapeños, and then topped all of that with a giant tater-tot waffle. Loosen up that belt a few notches Braves fans!
-akidnamedCAL
▪️$16
▪️ The mad scientists at Turner Field went above and beyond this off season. Last but not least we have the “Tater Tot Chop,” which features tater tots which have been repurposed and placed in a waffle iron, smothered them with cheese, bacon, and jalapeños, and then topped all of that with a giant tater-tot waffle. Loosen up that belt a few notches Braves fans!
-akidnamedCAL